Are you bummed? Have a friend that is always complaining? This brick is sure to make them shut up. Hand written, like all our products, this brick reads, "When life throws you lemons, throw bricks". Next time your friend starts on a pathetic rant about his/her miseries, say, "please hold on one second", order a brick, and repeat this process until the person is sick of getting sympathy bricks. Effectiveness of this gift may often correlates to the available amount of storage available to the recipient...or embarrassment. For the down and out New Yorker, please allow extended patience. They are some fucking whiney bitches.

Do you work to hard to be blown off by a customer? Is that the group of hoodlums that walked out and thought they could come back and pull that shit again? This time, make sure they get the bill. It might be an expensive way to leave a check for them, but I am pretty sure they will get it. Please note: This brick is for throwing, not the traditional "place and smile" technique. For tips on throwing, we always say "aim for the person with the biggest head". We assume no responsibility for ensuing injuries, although we totally understand where you were coming from.

Years of irony and sarcasm has crafted these quotes that are confusing as they are ambiguous. With that kind of thinking, you are always right! If someone asks what they mean, just say "exactly" and smile. These bricks come with our 100% guarantee. Only applies to orders returned from the recipient with a hearty lob. Other restrictions may apply. For more info or questions on policy, throw a brick towards the sky and catch it on your nose. Dripping blood MAY, although also subject to similar clauses, write out an answer on the floor beneath you.